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Private By Jingo!
2 days /phase
Unrated - Spring, 1914, Finished
1 excused NMR / no regaining / extend the first 2 turn(s)
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~12 Oct 15 UTC Spring, 1901: Testing, Testing. Is this thing on?
~12 Oct 15 UTC Spring, 1901: Illustrierte Kronenzeitung

Arise! Arise, glorious sons of the Empire! Take arms and take pride in our great nation! Show unto the world the inherent superiority of our people! Arise, arise, ye men of Austria! Glory awaits.
12 Oct 15 UTC Spring, 1901: "King concerned about European tension"

Sir Reginald Windy-Bottom reporting for The Times

His Imperial Majesty Edward VII announced from Buckingham Palace that he was increasingly concerned by the military build up in the continent.

"Those sausage hiding Germans I fear are up to no good. British Secret Intelligence has identified that the naval yards in Kiel are fueling the German High Seas fleet. We cannot have this challenge to Britain's supremacy of the seas. "

Elsewhere the king also saw other challenges, "My cousin the Tsar sent me a Christmas card last year. But Nicky didn't do that this year. This is a worry as he's always prompt. The men of England, Scotland, Ireland and Wales must steel themselves for the prospect of war over the horizon."

In other news the king said he was hopeful Aston Villa's performance would improve in the FA Cup.
12 Oct 15 UTC Spring, 1901: (did that work properly as anon, or did it include my name???)
~12 Oct 15 UTC Spring, 1901: test
~12 Oct 15 UTC Spring, 1901: Turkey, your messages are not anon.
12 Oct 15 UTC Spring, 1901: Hmmm... fucked up I guess.
~12 Oct 15 UTC Spring, 1901: This work?
~12 Oct 15 UTC Spring, 1901: yes
~12 Oct 15 UTC Spring, 1901: Breaking news. Germany can't stop laughing. It would appear a news story was broadcast across the whole of Europe, accusing Germany of no good. While the transmission appeared to be from England, No one removed the Turkish banner from the news cast.

Though clearly a ruse, Vassals have been sent to the kings chambers to assure him that Germany means no ill will. It is believed they might try to use this humorous event to erect an Alliance.
~12 Oct 15 UTC Spring, 1901: This just in. I have been informed that no one uses the Term "vassals" or "chambers" any longer. That is all.
~12 Oct 15 UTC Spring, 1901: Befuddled British Boss Baffled By Burgeoning Newspapers!

From the Times of London:
His Majesty Edward VII toured the newspaper offices of the Times today in a royal visit that was, on the whole, a rousing success. His Majesty expressed particular excitement in the possibility of using the paper to accomplish espionage in the tense diplomatic situation abroad, before adding, "Er, but you won't publish that bit, will you?"

However, the monarch expressed slight confusion in the anonymous nature of the papers, pointing out that frequently his name was attached right there at the top of the letterhead for all to see. It is believed that the monarch's concerns arose from a clumsy attempt by the Turkish foreign office to plant a story in the Times, while neglecting to remove the Ottoman stationary.

Sir Reginald Windy-Bottom was requested by Scotland Yard for questioning following the incident.
~13 Oct 15 UTC Spring, 1901: Heads Roll in Ottoman Foreign Office Shake-Up!

Chief Political Correspondent for Servet-i Fünun - Mohammed Hasabigun

The repurcutions from the London publishing fiasco has made its way to the capital Constantinopol with the head of the Empire's Foreign Office, Amhed Iminagaybar, stood down from his position by his Imperial Majesty Abdul Hamid II.

"We cannot stand such incompetence. I mean by all means create havoc across Europe but don't be so stupid as to send your business card with "gift" bong and pound of hashish to British reporters. Next time leave the card out, and at least get one of our embassies in another country attach their local postage stamps. Morons."

Comment was sought from Amhed Iminagaybar, but he could not be found. Rumours circulate he may have gone underground to one of Constantinpol's less desirable meeting houses.
13 Oct 15 UTC Spring, 1901: Ok so how do I do grey press?
13 Oct 15 UTC Spring, 1901: Type "grey:" then your message.
~13 Oct 15 UTC Spring, 1901: Found it! Will post later so no one knows it is me.
~13 Oct 15 UTC Spring, 1901: Le Monde: French Diplomat Found Dead In Berlin Brothel
His excellency, the Ambassador, was found dead yesterday morning in a prominent Berlin brothel. The news comes as a shock after his excellency had brokered peace talks between the rival English and German delegation as tensions mount between the two rivals over the build up of the Kiel Fleet.

The German ambassador was summoned for an explanation.
~13 Oct 15 UTC Spring, 1901: Pope Leo XIII Holds Summit of Mediterranean Nations

Italia Recensione, 1 May 1901

Rome - Pope Leo XIII has invited the heads of state of the Ottoman Empire, Italy, France, and Austria to a "Papal Summit" over the growing strife in the Mediterranean.

Italian Prime Minister Zanardelli has already sent an affirmation of his intention to attend saying "I'll bring the canolli!" to which those of the press corps chuckled heartily.

French President Loubet declared May 1st as the first every "Royaume- Jour de la Méditerranée" and offered to bring a fine apéritif suitable for "biscuits" indicating the French don't understand Italian humor.

Austria sent a missive saying, in part "We will meet with His Holiness in private, but we are not to be summoned nor will we sit as equals with those who are beneath us". No response has yet been received from Sultan Abdul Hamid II of the Ottoman Empire.

The Papal Summit is to begin 15 May 1901 in Rome.
~13 Oct 15 UTC Spring, 1901: Ottoman Sultan gives "Thumbs up" to Med Summit

Italia Recensione, 3 May 1901

Constantinopol - Sultan Abdul Hamid from the Ottoman Empire was snapped unexpectedly at the Blue Mosque with a cheesy grin and giving a two thumbs up salute to reporters today.

The Sultan's response came when asked about his attendance at the upcoming multi-national summit in Rome later this month.

In other news the biscuits to be provided by the French president have been flying off the shelves of Rome, Naples and Venice. The love affair with all things Parisian is expected to flow through to a French-Italian alliance quietly in negotiation behind the scenes in the lead up to the summit.

Undisclosed sources in Germany have postulated that the summit is merely a sham to justify the French-Italian alliance.
~13 Oct 15 UTC Spring, 1901: Britain: We are a Mediterranean power!

The Times, 4 May 1901

London: His Majesty's Government has sent a terse diplomatic note to the Italian Prime Minister Zanardelli that the United Kingdom is a Mediterranean power, demanding a seat at the upcoming summit.

Prime Minister Robert Gascoyne-Cecil, 3rd Marquess of Salisbury, said he was disappointed that His Majesty's Government was not invited.

"Mr Canolli must understand that we hold Gibraltar and Malta, key strategic locations in the Mediterranean. No peace can ensure there without our involvement.

"Yes, we may not have a fleet present on this classic Diplomacy board, but we all know if we were playing another variant our fleets would be there."

The Italian Prime Minister was eating ravioli at the time our reporters approached him for comment and stressed he was not to be interrupted. We persevered in our question (as any forthright English gentleman would), but were forced back when we came under fire from the Prime Minister's thrown slices of garlic bread.

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